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Post by Gryphon on Oct 16, 2009 19:59:04 GMT -5
| So I've had this story floating around in my head for a while now, and I thought that I'd start to put it down so that I can work through it. You may or may not like it, I'm not sure how it's going to turn out. I'd love your opinions and feedback, so feel free to give them. This includes constructive critisism, so don't worry about hurting my feelings.
Also, sorry for my absense lately. I just got a job so things have been crazy between that and school. So, to make sure I say it before it's too late, I'd like to say Happy Halloween, Everyone!
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Post by Gagtooth on Oct 16, 2009 21:07:51 GMT -5
Oh neat.. I've also been working with novel writing... Tiresome though, between IB work.
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Post by Gryphon on Oct 16, 2009 22:06:05 GMT -5
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The sky was grey above her, and the ground cold and muddy below. There was an insane roaring in her ears, but it was muffled, almost as though it was heard through water. High in the sky, a lone bird circled slowly. Suddenly it was blocked from her vision as a shape stood above her, blocking out the sunlight. Their face was hidden in shadows, but she could see that they wore armour that shone black and silver. They wore no helmet, and their short hair ruffled in a wind that she couldn't seem to feel. In their hand was a sword with a blade of shining silver and a hilt of black metal. Crimson droplets glistened along the blade, and a sudden fear swept through her. Positioning the point of the blade above her chest, the figure raised the sword up and thrust downward. She screamed.
Illia woke from her nightmare to the sound of screaming. Realizing that it was her that was screaming, she quieted herself, breathing hard from the fear. Although she had been numbed to everything in her dream, it had been so realistic. However, she wasn't surprised at this. She often had such vivid dreams, they had simply never taken such a violent turn before. Pushing back the covers from her bed, she lowered her feet to the cold wooden floor.
The sun hadn't quite risen above the horizon yet, but it had already painted the sky in pastel pinks and purples. She walked to her vanity and looked into the mirror. A delicate face with high cheekbones was what she saw, and intelligent blue eyes gazed back at her. Picking up a brush, she pulled it through her fine silvery hair that reached down to her waist. She felt comforted by the familiarity of her room and the simple morning tasks after the terror of her nightmare.
Finishing with brushing her hair, she walked to the window to watch the sun rise. Absent mindedly she began to braid her hair, watching as the sky subtly changed colours and the sun peaked above the horizon, blinding her momentarily before she could turn away. Walking back to her vanity, her hair now braided, she tied off the end with a blue ribbon. She then walked over to a wall divider and pulled on a robe over her night gown.
As she did this, there came a knock at her door. "Come in," she called out, holding the robe closed tight around her. A maid entered carrying a washbasin full of warm water. She smiled at the simply dressed girl. Her dress did nothing for her figure, and her hair was pinned back severely from her face, though she would be beautiful in anything more elegant.
-Continued- |
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Post by Gryphon on Oct 17, 2009 0:04:04 GMT -5
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Illia thanked the girl for bringing her the wash basin, and washed her face while the girl remade her bed. After both were done, the girl assisted her with getting dressed by tightening the bodice of Illia's much nicer gown.
Once that was done, she left with the now cold wash basin, and an older lady walked in. Sitting at the vanity, Illia then had her hair unbraided and rebraided in a much more complex style, the hair pulled so tight that her scalp ached. However, this was beauty to her mother, and she had to do what her mother told.
Finished getting ready, she left her room with the maid and made her way to the dining room, where she would take breakfast with her family. She sat at the large table on one of the sides, and sipped at the tea that was brought to her. She hadn't been waiting too long when a tall figure entered the room and seated himself across from her. His shoulder length blonde hair was tied back at the nape of his neck, and his blue eyes shone like shards of glacial ice. She smiled to him.
"Good morning, Illia," he said cheerfully. She smiled back enthusiastically to her brother. "Hello, Beau." A silly grin was stuck on her face, just from being near him. She loved her brother for many reasons. He had always been there for her, no matter what kind of grief she was in. He would do almost anything for her, but wouldn't be easily bossed around. He was the perfect brother. And she wasn't the only one who thought so highly of him.
He was well liked among the other young men in the area, and they often invited him on hunts and to banquets. The ladies liked him too, though in a very different way than the men. Often when he was out he would be approached by ladies, whether in groups or alone, seeking his affections.
-Continued- |
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Post by Gagtooth on Oct 18, 2009 0:56:51 GMT -5
Wow... Fantastic writing! Really draws you in. Please do continue.
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Post by Gryphon on Oct 19, 2009 19:07:06 GMT -5
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They talked comfortably amongst themselves as they waited for their parents, and then when they arrived, all four ate together comfortably. Afterwards, they retired to a sitting room where her mother took up some embroidery and her father and brother helped themselves to a book by the fire. Illia, however, was more restless and gazed out the large bay window with longing, looking out over the vast expanse of their estate. Her family was quite wealthy and their estate consisted of a grand manor house where all their parties were held, as well as a carriage house, stables, and an outbuilding for the servants quarters. Laying her eyes on the stables, she quietly got up and began to exit the room. It was at that point that her mother looked up and took some interest in her daughter.
"Where are you going, dear?" she asked demurely, though her gaze showed that she was aware that Illia was up to something. Smiling, she put on an innocent face. "I was just going to go run Star for a bit." Star was the mild-mannered, silver-bay mare that her mother approved of her riding. Pursing her lips and studying her daughter with great scrutiny, she finally consented with a nod. It took Illia no time at all to exit the room and head for the stables.
Entering the warm, sweet smelling building she smiled to herself as she started along the row of stalls. Soon she came to Star who was poking her head out over the stall door. Walking to the mare she stroked her nose gently and then opened the door, grabbing the bridle. At that moment a stable boy came running to assist her, and she let the boy take Star to saddle her up. As she was on her way outside she heard an angry snort from a nearby stall. The stall had a full door and sturdy walls, and she recalled that her brother had recently bought a young stallion that was quite the handful. As she thought that, the horse kicked the door viciously. Backing away, she hastened outside were Star was nearly finished being saddled.
-To Be Continued-
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Post by Clock on Oct 29, 2009 0:36:42 GMT -5
>_< I wanna read more! That's the best thing I've read in a long time Darrius. I'm curious to know where you're going with this and I can't wait till you write more! S'not fare!!!! >_< Come back on line faster!!! lol.
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Post by Gryphon on Aug 3, 2010 21:49:58 GMT -5
Lol, I'm doing my best. The story was also never fully formed in my mind so I'll probably take a while to figure out exactly where this is going. I know the end, but the middle is a mystery.
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Post by Gryphon on Aug 5, 2010 15:42:44 GMT -5
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Putting on a pait of riding gloves given to her by the groom, she was helped up onto Star's back to sit side saddle. Clicking her tounge and flicking the reins the mare trotted out across the yard to the drive leading out of the estate. With a quick check over her shoulder, Illia flipped her leg over the saddle and put both feet in the stirups before urging the horse into a canter.
It was a truly beautiful day to ride, and she took joy in the sun on her face and the wind in her hair, though she would have liked to let it flow free at that moment. Once she had gotten off her own estate, she made her way towards a nearby trail that ran along a creek. She slowed to a walk here, to better enjoy the scenery. These rides were, for her, the only escape from a life of propriety, parties and suitors. It seemed her mother never ran out of young men to introduce her to, all of which were very dull and altogether unappealing to her.
In fact, she wasn't interested in marriage at all. What really caught her attention was the duels she watched her brother fight, and the tournaments and hunts that many young men took part in. It was a life of adventure and excitement, and she wanted it all. However, it wasn't proper and her mother would never approve. Especially not of the secret lessons her brother was giving her in archery and sword fighting.
-To Be Continued-
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